after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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