sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I look better un-naked...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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