i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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