dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I can't turn off my feet"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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