there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
