I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize