I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
