i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
