What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Please don't give away my fajitas
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
