You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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