This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
