I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
