My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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