I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
