my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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