Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
