so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
