we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
