can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
