He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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