Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
