Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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