is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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