and she was petting her beer can
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
