I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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