i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
