I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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