You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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