Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
