What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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