I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
