i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
