Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
