did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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