he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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