direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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