Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
