I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
