so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
