soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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