I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
