Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
