Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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