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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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