i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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