I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
