so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
