I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just blew my weed a kiss
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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