I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
