Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
