He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
