I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
