i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
