i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Your cock deserves a montage
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
