do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
