I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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