oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
