I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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