There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
