I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize